Conversations and Dreams
by TheQueenoftheNight
Summary: Can a budding friendhip with a certain former teacher and werewolf save Harry from the endless pain of the death that happened at the end of last year? OotP spoilers; no slash
1. Default Chapter

Conversations and Dreams  
  
Prologue, Correspondence  
  
Although they would never admit it, the Dursleys had been extremely intimidated by Mad-Eye Moody and his two companions (admittedly more by Mad- Eye than Lupin or Tonks), and although they were far from pleasant to Harry over the next week, they were at least civil. In fact, mostly they ignored him, unless it was to ask him to "pass the peas" or inform him they they were all going out. It was quite the improvement in Harry's opinion, since he didn't enjoy their company anyway. Regardless of the step up in treatment by his relatives, Harry's summer still loomed gloomily in front of him, leaving him even more melancholy than he had been the year before. He tried, over and over again, to forget that Sirius was dead, that Voldemort was back on the loose and in the open, and that somewhere, the whole Weasley family (minus Percy, he imagined) was having a good summer holiday without him. These thoughts gathered in his mind and clouded his brain so that his days became a haze of unhappiness, his mood lower than the lowest valley. At least last summer he'd had letters from Sirius to look forward to from time to time. This summer all he had was the vague empty feeling that only the loss of someone very dear can bring.  
  
Finally, a week after his arrival at Privet Drive, Harry received an owl from Ron. Pigwidgeon zoomed about Harry's room happily, as Harry read the note:  
  
Hey Mate!  
Is all well with you? We finally heard from Percy.  
He hasn't apologized for his behavior, but at least he's speaking to us  
now. Mum cried herself into a fit with joy. Hermione's here, I'll let you guess  
where here is.  
Not much else is happening, I hope the muggles are treating you well. I  
think dad will  
have a talk with them if they don't, or Moody will.  
  
Ron  
  
P.S. I thought you should know that there's a new house elf head on the  
wall.  
  
Folded neatly inside the note from Ron was another smaller note in adult handwriting that seemed vaguely familiar to Harry.  
  
Harry,  
Are the muggles keeping up their end of the bargain?  
Have you had any more dreams?  
Keep in touch.  
  
R.J. Lupin  
  
Harry felt slightly better after reading Ron's note, and reread the P.S. several times with immense pleasure. He was also generally pleased to receive the small note from Professor Lupin. Lupin had been Harry's favorite professor in his third year and perhaps, Harry thought, his favorite professor ever. Harry pulled two pieces of parchment and a quill out of his desk drawer, then fished around in his trunk for a moment to find his ink. Seating himself, Harry thought for a moment while he started at Ron's letter, then quickly dashed off a few lines reflecting his happiness that the Weasley family had come to terms with Percy, claiming to feel "fine," and informing Ron that the Dursley's had been treating him very well, thank you, and not to worry about it. He couldn't think of anything to say in response to the revelation about Kreacher's head joining his ancestors on the wall, so he finished off by inquiring about Fred, George, and Ginny. Satisfied, Harry read over the letter and folded it neatly. Then he began on a response to Lupin.  
  
Professor Lupin,  
Thanks for your note.  
The Dursley's have been treating me okay, much better than last summer.  
I don't have anything to complain about. How are things there?  
  
Harry  
  
Harry ignored Lupin's request about his dreams on purpose. In fact, he had been having some odd dreams, mostly about various deeds of the Death Eaters, though none of them were very clear or as intense as they had been last year. He had become used to them, in fact, so that he hardly noticed them. There wasn't enough information to be useful, so he didn't feel that anyone needed to know - they would lead to too many questions. Those were not the only dreams he'd been having, however. Much more disturbing to Harry were the recurring dreams he'd been having every night, in which he relived that fateful night at the Department of Mysteries, and the moment when Sirius died. Every night Harry saw it clearly, Sirius dueling with Belltrix Lestrange, taunting her, then being stricken with a curse, falling backwards, through the veil. Harry saw, as if outside of himself, his reaction, screaming Sirius' name, and being told by Lupin over and over again, "he's gone." Every night this dream repeated, every night Harry was forced to relive the painful moment. It was eating him up, driving him mad, though outwardly he remained calm and impassive. Indeed, the Dursley's were suspicious of this change in their young ward, though they were afraid to say anything to his face for fear that his "freaky friends" would descend on them and turn them all into swine or something equally atrocious. Though Harry was hopeful that Lupin would respond, he also hoped there would be no more questions about his dreams. He wasn't sure if he could take it. 


	2. A talk, man to werewolf

Harry,  
Glad to hear you're being treated well. Things are hectic here  
- No major news, really. You didn't answer my question though, any more  
dreams?  
Keep in touch.  
  
R.J. Lupin  
  
Harry sighed as he read the note, again sent rolled up in a longer one from Ron. He supposed that Professor Lupin wouldn't give up until he told him about his dreams, so he might as well do it. After seizing Pigwidgeon and placing him in Hedwig's cage - much to her apparent chagrin, as she sat clicking her beak and glaring at him - Harry pulled out two pieces of parchment and his quill and ink. He settled himself at his desk and dashed off a letter to Ron, forcing himself to sound more cheerful than he really felt. Then he set about responding to Lupin, quite unsure of exactly how much he wanted to say. Would Lupin show his letters to anyone else, he wondered, or did he keep them to himself? He didn't want to imagine Mrs. Weasley's reaction to any of his news. No, it was better for his peace of mind that he just assume Lupin kept them to himself. After a brief greeting, Harry set into admitting that he'd had some dreams. In veiled terms in case the owl was intercepted, Harry explained that they were too garbled and unclear to make anything of, and he'd just been ignoring them. He finished by saying "I've mostly been dreaming about the night S. died." He thought about adding "I want those dreams to stop," but decided against it. Lupin mustn't think him weak. He didn't need help, he would be fine.  
  
Lupin's next note was a lot longer, came on it's own, and sounded rather worried. Much to Harry's horror, his former professor told him he'd be speaking with Dumbledore about continuing his Occlumency lessons. Harry groaned, hoping that they'd find another teacher besides Snape this time - he wasn't sure if the Potions Master would even look at him, let alone tutor him. And if he would, Harry had the funny feeling that Snape might make the process a lot more painful than it had been last time - and it certainly hadn't been pain free. Harry's dreary mood lightened slightly as he finished the note however, when he caught sight of the last line. "I want to speak with you in person. Be outside on Thursday night, I'll give you instructions then." Lupin....come here? Harry thought. He wasn't sure whether to be excited or frightened. His aunt and uncle might lessen their good terms with him if they were to see another wizard around their house, but on the other hand, it was contact with the wizarding world that Harry craved most. He owled Lupin back, letting him know that he'd be ready.  
  
Harry spent most of Thursday afternoon with a slightly nervous twinge in his stomach. What if Lupin didn't make it? What if the note had been intercepted by a Death Eater? What if his aunt and uncle found him talking with another wizard? He couldn't exactly imagine them accepting Lupin with open arms, after all. By nine o'clock Harry had worried himself out, and was almost calm. He decided to go ahead and wait outside, in case Lupin was early. He watched cars come and go across the small community streets, and for a while his attention wandered to some younger boys playing ball in a yard down the street. He hoped idly that Dudley didn't come home soon, it would be bad for both those boys and himself. Nine thirty came, and still no sign of Lupin, causing the nervous lump to reappear. Finally, fifteen minutes after the appointed time, a figure approached him from across the street. Harry's heart leapt, and he stood up, but was again disappointed to find that it was Mrs. Figg, not Lupin. Was she coming to tell him that Lupin wasn't coming? Mrs. Figg smiled as she trudged over, her house slippers thudding softly on the pavement. "Good evening Harry, would you like to come over and have some chocolate cake?" she asked loudly, then added "I have some new cat pictures. You look like a young man who needs something to do." Then softly she said "he's at my house." Harry nodded, and turned away quickly to let Aunt Petunia know he was going to Mrs. Figg's house. Glad to be rid of him for the night, Aunt Petunia gave her consent immediately. As soon as he stepped into Mrs. Figg's house, Harry was thrilled to see Remus Lupin greeting him with a large smile. "Good to see you Harry," he said genuinely, clapping Harry on the shoulder and steering him into the living room so they could sit down. "Please sit down, I'll make you some tea," Mrs. Figg said, hurrying from the room. "Would you like some pie?" she added. She smiled at Harry's hesitation and announced, "it's fresh, I promise!" then laughed and went into the kitchen.  
  
After Harry and Lupin had made themselves comfortable on Mrs. Figg's sofa, Lupin proceeded to launch into more questions about Harry's dreams. Harry was at first reluctant to answer, but the more he did so the easier it became. Lupin sat thinking silently when he'd finished. Harry stared at the floor, wondering if he should have been more guarded with what he said. Finally, Lupin spoke. "Harry, I don't suppose I need to tell you that this is not a good sign," he said. "If you can't see as much of Voldemort's activities as you did before, it means he's shutting you out of his mind, and I think the fact that you've been reliving that night at the Department of Mysteries over and over in your dreams is his influence. He knows it will weaken you. He doesn't seem to be able to shut you out entirely, since you're connected so strongly, but he's trying. We need to continue your Occlumency lessons." Lupin noticed the slight pale that came over Harry's features and smiled. "I'll ask Dumbledore if we can find someone other than Snape to do it. I'm not even sure he'd be willing to, after what happened last year. I think maybe Dumbledore himself would be willing to teach you this time, or else maybe he'll let me come by floo powder once a week to teach you myself." Lupin smiled, and Harry regained a little colour in his cheeks. "I like that idea, professor," he said with a slight nod. "We all agreed you were the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher we ever had." Lupin's smile widened slightly, then disappeared as if he'd just remembered something. He plunged a hand into the pocket of his robes and brought an object out of it. It was a hand held mirror - Harry recognized it instantly. "I found this when I went through Sirius' things the week after he died," Lupin explained, "I knew right away what it was, and as it's partner was missing, I suspected I knew who had it." Sirius looked closely at Harry. "Do you have it, Harry?" he asked. Harry nodded. "Good, I thought so," Lupin said, looking at the mirror again. "Your father and Sirius used them to communicate at school. I don't know how they both ended up with Sirius, but I suspect he took the one belonging to your father the night your parents died." Lupin paused, then said, "Since I have one and you have one, I'd like to use them to communicate with you. Sirius would have wanted you to use yours to talk to him if you needed him, and I want you to do the same with me. If anything happens at your aunt and uncle's house, or if anything happens at school, you can contact me immediately with this. I'll keep mine with me at all times so I'll always know if you need me. They vibrate slightly when you're trying to contact the other holder," Lupin instructed him, then said after a pause, "I know I'm not your godfather, Harry, and no one can ever replace Sirius. But he and your father would have wanted me to keep an eye on you." Lupin smiled. "I'll do my best to help you in any way I can." Harry wanted to say something, but he felt a sudden choke in his throat brought on no doubt by so much talk of Sirius. Fortunately he was saved from having to do anything but nod as Mrs. Figg was back with the tea and pie.  
  
The pie was indeed fresh, and Harry found it very enjoyable after the usual fair from Aunt Petunia. It was was almost eleven o'clock when Lupin stood up and made ready to leave, giving Harry his cue to do the same. After thanking Mrs. Figg profusely, he turned to Harry and reminded him again to use the mirror to contact him. "Also," Lupin added, "if you'll be here again next week on Saturday evening, I'll come see you again." Lupin smiled, he seemed to know how hard it was for Harry to be stuck in Privet Drive with the war going on, away from news and other wizards. This seemed to give Mrs. Figg an idea as well, because then she said, "Harry dear, I want you to come over whenever you need to get away from your aunt and uncle. Consider my door open to you at all times." Harry thanked her, and thought to himself that he'd probably take her up on that offer. After all, she was somewhat part of the wizarding world, and she didn't make him eat stale cake and look at cat pictures anymore. Even if she had, anything was better than the Dursleys. 


End file.
